The Smart Woman’s Breakup Book has taken me two years to research and write. Going through my long list of breakups, I realized I was getting better at it. I am excellent at letting go and moving on. I’m logical and can see patterns – it’s why I am a good corporate trainer and instructional designer – I knew what to expect and was aware of the pitfalls along the way. Then I watched a friend in her 20s going through a major breakup, making the same mistakes I made. I started asking myself questions:
- How can we cope with breakups better?
- How can I share what I have learned in my life, and from the women I interviewed, so others don’t have to stumble along?
- Were there differences between women who initiated the breakup and women who didn’t?
- How do we keep on hoping after multiple breakups and as we get older?
- Is there a way to learn breakup skills without having to muddle through years of relationship endings to get there?
I know how to teach practical skills – I’ve successfully taught executives at international blue-chip companies how to make effective presentations, navigate the minefield of cross-cultural differences and negotiate. I was sure I could design a course to get women like us from breaking up to breaking free.
How To Breakup Well – Research
I started work on making the most important course I’ve developed:
- I spent a year interviewing over 100 women – some in their 20s, many in their 30s and some older – listening to their experiences, looking for themes and finding patterns. These are the interviews in this book.
- I interviewed professionals and researched leading experts’ advice to support the lessons the women learned. Finally from this information I created exercises for you to do, to develop the skills you need to get over your breakup.
Just as my students at IBM could leave the classroom and apply what they learned in my classes in the real world, you will be able to take what you learn from this book and apply it today.
The seven steps of this book are split into three parts:
Part 1: The End
We start with The End. Chances are you’re aching with the breakup – that’s because you are at The End. While most books finish with The End, all good beginnings start with an ending, so that’s where we start. It includes:
- Step 1: Survive Breakup D-day – What to do at the end of your relationship, whether he leaves you, you leave him, or you’re undecided.
- Step 2: Get Him Out of Your Life - How to purge your ex by getting that man out of your home and habits so you can start to move on, including the daily No Contact Coaching Program
- Step 3: Preparing Your Breakup Survival Pack - Getting everything ready so you can handle the weeks and months ahead.
Part 2: Lost in a Lost World
The next part is Lost in a Lost World – you don’t quite feel single yet and you’re definitely not part of a couple any more. Lost in a Lost World looks at:
- Step 4: Coping With Your Sadness – Learn what to expect and how to handle the stages of grief.
- Step 5: Changing From ‘Us’ To ‘Me” – How to detach from your past relationship and old life.
- Step 6: Dealing With Diversions – Cope with the diversions and obsessions, from sex to shopping, you become fixated on as you get over him.
Part 3: One is the Magic Number
Finally we get to Part 3: One is the Magic Number. You start feeling like Fabulous New Single You. In this part we will look at:
- Step 7: Looking Forward To Your New Life – Let go of the past, and face your freedom by finding new dreams and developing new goals to work toward.
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. If you feel like you are losing your hope, pass it over here – I’ll take care of it for you – jump on that breakup train (don’t worry there’s a bar on board if you feel like you need a drink), and let’s start at where all good beginnings start: at The End – the first part of The Smart Woman’s Breakup Book.