After a breakup you can feel stressed – how stressed are you really?  Take the  Holmes-Rahe Stress Test to see where you are on the scale.  You might be surprised to discover that in addition to your breakup there are a whole lot of other things that affect your stress levels – moving homes, your money situation changes, and ever the number of arguments changes!  All these things affect your stress levels.

After I broke up with Toshi my ex husband, I scored off the chart – there were so many changes in my life!  And stress for me shows in different ways:

• I get sick
• I have accidents!
• I can’t sleep
• or I sleep too much
• I eat far too much
• or I lose interest in food
• I party
• I get obsessive about something – creating a new look, buying a house, a crush, finding a new job, starting a new business – anything to keep my mind busy!

Not of these things are great for me, and so it’s good to be aware of the reasons why I am obsessing or drinking or not sleeping so I can at least minimize the damage.  I can be sure I take a taxi, I can understand that the cute guy in accounts may not be my next true love just because he looked at me, I can take some action to help my insomnia.

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Another wonderful little video from YouTube from Tales of Mere Existence.  This time it is about not sleeping: I can’t sleep. If you can’t sleep you might also like to read some of my other posts about sleeping – see the links below.

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Some people react to stress by not sleeping well (or insomnia).  For me, a sign that I had to breakup with T was that I wasn’t sleeping.  The stress of the relationship made me an insomniac until I had to listen to my body.  After breaking up I slept so much better.  But not every breakup has been like that, after that Rat Bastard (an ex who cheated on me) I had huge problems sleeping as he was using the settlement of the house we owned together to hang on to me.  He truly was a Rat Bastard.

How about you?  Are you sleeping?

If you’re not getting enough sleep you might be having trouble getting through the day.  You are physically tired, can’t concentrate, feel depressed or grumpy, snap at people, unhappy, and of course are sleepy.

In their book Surviving: Coping with a Life Crisis, Doctors Bob Montgomery & Laurel Morris explain:

“It doesn’t help if your stomach is rumbling from hunger, too much food or food that was spicy or rich.  Drinking caffeine, in coffee, tea or soda, will stimulate your arousal level…A meal heavy in carbohydrates, especially when they are not balanced by other food groups such as proteins, usually has a calming and even fatiguing effect…women tend to feel sleepy.”

The other things they say to stay away from are:

• Reading exciting books
• Watching exciting TV
• Late night problem solving discussions
• Being fit helps but activity before sleep doesn’t
• Watch your own body rhythm
• Don’t have a nap in the day or sleep in
• Noise

I ended up getting sleeping pills from my Doctor when Rat Bastard was being a particular bastard, just weeks before the settlement was signed and I was the walking dead because I had insomnia.  Luckily I never had to use them, but they can help in times of need.  I found that just having them there helped, so I knew that if I needed them, they were there so I didn’t stress quite so much. I used the herbal supplement Valerian a lot – it gets you to sleep but doesn’t keep you asleep so you have no groggy side effects the next day.  Not so helpful though if you are waking up at 4am.

There are some other suggestions about having trouble sleeping, and what you can do about it, in the comments section here.

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