Ever thought about revenge after breaking up?  Did your ex do something so bad that you want to kick his arse?  Check out this article about two women finding out that they had been seeing the same guy at the same time.

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The trust of the innocent is the liar’s most useful tool.

Stephen King

Don’t you love this quote – it sums up lying and deceit so well.  I think I would rather be a trusting person, and be lied to sometimes, than be suspicious of everyone just in case I catch someone out.  Mind you after being cheated on I think my ‘deceit radar’ is a bit more attuned.  Perhaps it is more about listening more carefully to and trusting the funny feelings and hunches I get.

Check out the Breakup Bitch Quote Site, if you are interested in reading more quotes about liars and cheaters and breakups. And check this out if you are worried your partner is lying to you and you want to do something about it.

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I know how hard it is to go from thinking you are with the person you are happily in love with – to finding out they betrayed you. On my 38th birthday I saw the first signs my partner was cheating. It took me days to find solid proof of the affair, and within another week I had made a decision about the future of the relationship.

It starts with a feeling something was wrong. Then you begin to see signs of their cheating – but you don’t want to believe it. Once you become suspicious though, you see the signs of infidelity clearly and wonder how you didn’t notice before.

What about you – what stage are you at in uncovering the affair? Click on the button that best describes your situation and let’s look what you are facing on my new website dedicated to busting affairs and dealing with the aftermath:

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I want you to listen to me. I’m going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.

President Bill Clinton

If you are interested in sad breakup quotes – check out The Breakup Bitch Quote site.

Are you worried your partner is cheating on you?  Find out the signs, and download a free chapter from my eBook – Infidelity: Catch Them Cheating… And Survive.

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One of the hard things about the sudden ending of a relationship – especially when it involves a third person with an affair – is learning to accept that it has actually happened!  To accept that your partner, who last week seemed so wonderful, has been lying and cheating behind your back is hard to come to terms with.  In a normal breakup we might have seen the signs that the end of the relationship was coming, but with infidelity, the end of the relationship can come as a shock.

It can also be a shock to discover your darling partner is a cheater and a liar – the relationship was not what you thought it was at all.   After finding out about their cheating, to be able to accept it, many of us rewrite our history.  We find we need to know what happened – in detail.  To others this may seem masochistic but instead it is us trying to find a way to accept our new reality.  Don’t be hard on yourself if you find you have this driving need to know, but also understand that you may never know everything.  Your cheater is an adept liar and will protect himself and his affair – he will think he is protecting you too by hiding details even now.

A friend wrote to me with advice about accepting a breakup – it is worth reading as well.

If you are worried your partner or spouse is lying and cheating on you – then check out The Breakup Bitch’s latest site about Catching Them Cheating. You don’t have to put up with lies anymore.

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If you decide to breakup after finding out your partner has been cheating on you, it is easy to slip into feeling like a failure.  I know those feelings crept into my heart, in between the rage I felt at Brian for cheating on me.  Somehow I managed to blame myself for his idiotic behaviour.  I guess if we blame ourselves we give ourselves some control over the situation – if we take some of the blame, we could have done something to change things…even if this isn’t true.

The anger leaves us for a moment, an hour or a day, and easily we fill that void with feeling like a failure.  Is it possible to control these feelings that creep up on us in the long hours of sleepless nights.  Haven’t we been punished enough by our partner’s behaviour?  Do we need to punish ourselves some more with our feelings of failure at weak moments?

Take a look at my earlier post on How To Get Past Feeling Like A Failure and start to recognize that your feelings of failure are just an interpretation of an event (the affair and the breakup).  Get past these feelings and move on to growth and being the person you really are, the person your cheating ex does not deserve!

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As some of you know I have been doing a whole lot of research into infidelity / cheating.  I found this ebook which I am going to take a look at to see if it is any good – I shall let you know in my review.

The writer, Sarah Paul gives some pointers about the signs you should look for in your partner to see if they are cheating online.  Having experienced this myself, it is an awful thing to go through:

The Most Important Warning Signs of an Online Affair

Affairs that are carried out over the internet are increasingly common, and marriage counselors report a sharp increase in the amount of couples that come to therapy each year as a result of an affair that has been carried out online. The greatest risk to a couple still involves co-workers, friends or neighbors, but the internet enables people to develop close relationships with others despite the distance or lack of social connection.

When a partner is developing a cyber-affair, there are a number of techniques and strategies you can employ. The first is that you check out How to Catch a Cheating Spouse:

Check out the ebook and free keylogger!

There are a few additional key pointers that indicate what is happening. They include:

Developing secrecy and a need for privacy.

If someone is conducting an affair online, their privacy, particularly how this applies to their computer usage, is suddenly very important. The computer may be moved to a less visible area of the house, the spouse may change their password to prevent you from accessing the computer when they are not around, and your partner may react angrily when you approach them or disturb them while they are online. In fact, disturbing them while they are online can tell you a lot about what is happening. Are they open about what they are doing? Do they get angry or defensive if you disturb them? Do they react with surprise and close their browser when you come near the screen? The volatility of their reaction will be able to indicate quite clearly if their computer usage is something you need to be concerned about.

Change in home life and sleep patterns.

Internet chat room usage increased sharply after dark, so your partner may be motivated to stay up late and be part of the action. Getting to bed very late or getting out of bed very early in the morning may point towards your partner visiting dating sites and chat rooms to exchange emails with a new love interest. This change in sleep patterns can have a significant affect on your home life and your relationship with them. There may be little time for intimacy or communication in your marriage if your partner is spending late nights and early mornings at their computer.

Decline in household chores.

As a consequence of spending so much time online, the state of cleanliness in the house may start to suffer. The lawns might not be mown as often, dirty washing may pile up, dirty dishes may stay unwashed, and maintenance around the home may be neglected in favor of a few more preciouse minutes online. This decline in the household may signal a change in priorities. The investment in the online relationship may come at a cost to your partner’s contribution to the chores and to your relationship.

These are just a few of the major indicators of an online affair. To get the full story and find out for sure if your partner is straying online, get my course containing my truth-busting e-book as well as my explosive tracking software!
Check out the ebook and free keylogger!

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I found this great forum post on an infidelity website – love the way this woman writes about her ex and his affairs!

When my hideous ex and I were in counselling I used to sit there steaming while he bleated on about how angry he was with his dad, and skirted around the issue of his bl00dy problems. Nevermind and elephant in the room – this was a small African nation! The counsellor gradually worked around this but as soon as she got too close and he got some ‘homework’ that involved the c word (no, not that one, I mean commitment), he was off shagging 19 year olds quicker than you could say commitment-phobic!

Are you worried your partner is cheating on you?  Find out the signs, and download a free chapter from my eBook – Infidelity: Catch Them Cheating… And Survive.

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We’ve been looking at how your body can give you signals that all is not right in your relationship.  Becoming more absent minded or clumsier is a common side-effect of stress.  Or you might be like Alicia, my beauty therapist with her explosion of curly hair, more accident-prone.  Her face lit up when she heard I was writing a book about breakups and she launched into her breakup story:

‘I got together with Clint when he was still with his girlfriend,’ she said in her lilting English accent. ‘Now close your eyes,’ she said and she applied tint to my eyelashes.  ‘We’d been together for about seven months, and something was up.  But I was busy…I didn’t want to work out what was bugging me.’

Alicia barely took a breath between sentences, talking quickly as she worked on my eyes.

‘Then I had three car accidents in two weeks.  I was driving my old Escort, came to an intersection and another car didn’t give way and plowed into me.  The driver was one of those builder guys, handle-bar mustache, builder’s crack…you know the kind of guy.  ‘Jeezus lady, you were flying,’ he said.  He was in the wrong though so I got his details and raced off.  Then I had another one!’ She said, taking a break from shaping my eyebrows.  ‘I was on the way to work in the morning, came up a hill and just went straight through a give-way sign without stopping.  I hit another car.  So I bought a new car, a little black Mazda hatchback. This time I was pulling out from a parking space, when I heard this almighty crunch,’ she emphasized her point by leaning in and plucking an errant crop of eyebrow hairs.

‘I couldn’t see anything – you know those low hatchbacks have a blindspot.  The driver’s door was stuck so I had to climb out the passenger door to see what had happened.  I’d hit a big lamppost, right there in the middle of the back of my car.  A bloody big lamppost.  There were bits of my car on the ground, I picked up the tail light and jumped back in and took off.  I was having all these accidents.  Something was up.’

She stopped speaking to check the evenness of my eyebrows and wiped the dye off my stinging eyes. I looked at her blurrily and she smiled.

‘You look good.’

‘So, what happened?’

‘Something was up all right,’ she said as she bustled around cleaning up.  ‘Clint was cheating on me – with his ex-girlfriend that he left for me!  Can you believe it?  I should have known he was no good.  Long story but after those accidents I started to pay attention and eventually tracked him down at her place one afternoon when he said he was at the gym.  What a bastard!’

If you are worried your partner or spouse is lying and cheating on you – then check out The Breakup Bitch’s latest site about Catching Them Cheating. You don’t have to put up with lies anymore.

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I’ve had some problems with my feed that sends my posts to your inbox by email – so some of you have been missing out!  Make sure you check out other posts as I have been writing quite a bit the past few weeks.

There is nothing more humiliating than loving someone so much that you forgive the infidelities.

Jerry Hall

If you are interested in sad breakup quotes – check out The Breakup Bitch Quote site.

Are you worried your partner is cheating on you?  Find out the signs, and download a free chapter from my eBook – Infidelity: Catch Them Cheating… And Survive.

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