I’ve been enjoying the dating diaries posts on Marvi Marti’s blog. She is doing the whole internet dating thing in her 40s and she is not shy to write about how it’s going.  She writes with humor and honesty – worth checking out!

In one of her latest posts she writes about the benefits of background checks. A post on Life Bytes that poses the question: how well do you know who you are dating? inspired her writing and both are worth reading and thinking about.  I sure could have saved myself a lot of heartache if I had background checked B – the rat bastard!  I am sure there would have been red flags a plenty.

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I know how hard it is to go from thinking you are with the person you are happily in love with – to finding out they betrayed you. On my 38th birthday I saw the first signs my partner was cheating. It took me days to find solid proof of the affair, and within another week I had made a decision about the future of the relationship.

It starts with a feeling something was wrong. Then you begin to see signs of their cheating – but you don’t want to believe it. Once you become suspicious though, you see the signs of infidelity clearly and wonder how you didn’t notice before.

What about you – what stage are you at in uncovering the affair? Click on the button that best describes your situation and let’s look what you are facing on my new website dedicated to busting affairs and dealing with the aftermath:

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When I am in a new stage of life – like after a breakup – getting my life in order is one of my favorite things to do.  I don’t have to think of anyone else as I rethink my priorities and goals.  I usually do a massive spring-clean in my home – especially around my desk and my closet.  It is a great time to look at things with new eyes.  You haven’t worn that dress for 5 years and actually you don’t even like it any more?  Put it on the consignment store pile.  There are bills floating around your desk from months ago?  File them.

There is something so energizing about a cleanse.  I have been sorting my kitchen this week (as I discovered every time I went to the supermarket I was sure I needed udon noodles – as I am going through a Japanese cooking binge – and then discovered 5 packets at the back of my pantry) and it feels great.  Now I go to the supermarket and I know what is in the cupboards.  No more extra noodles!

I found this great blog post on the living simply blog where the author’s favorite bloggers give their best simplicity tips.  I hope it gives you inspiration to get organized and embrace the new freedom you have in your life. It got me to clean my desk of clutter today and I have been thinking about doing it all week!

Some of my favorite tips from the post:

• Prioritize: work out what is important and why (make sure it is important in the big scheme of things as well!)
• Focus: now you know what you need to work on, focus on it, shut out other distractions (like iphones, email or a messy desk) and just get going on it.  Some people recommended giving yourself a time limit and sticking to it.  Others recommended working in the morning (or whatever is the best time of day is for you).
• Before buying something, think really hard whether you need it.  More clutter = more work for you.  Think about giving something away each time you buy something new.
• Get rid of clutter – unsubscribe to e-newsletters that don’t inspire you, clear that backlog of emails in your account, clear that messy desk, get your dvds sent by mail or watch things online.
• Set up routines if you are busy – use set up food shopping lists, plan meals, plan in your exercise time, keep things in certain places so you can easily grab it when you need it.

Very inspirational.

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After breaking up, it feels like you suddenly have so much more free time.  Sunday can loom ahead of you like a wasteland.  So what about some fun ways to waste it – I’ve been looking online at some great free places to visit where it is all about you and your future.  And if you find one reading that isn’t too good – move on until you find one that you like!

Horoscopes

To get a free daily horoscope that is based on your birthday, go to Astro.com.  They also have all kinds of free charts you can access – where is a great place for you to go on holiday, what is your love horoscope – and if you have a crush you can check out your compatibility chart.

What about checking out your Chinese Horoscope for this year?   This site is very detailed about your profile:

This Rooster is overtly organized. He is a little reserved and quite careful in his decision-making. These Roosters are hard workers as well, and can handle several tasks at once. They are detail-oriented who are quite efficient and self-sufficient. They take on responsibility without a cause and are motivated only in wanting to be successful. Sometimes they can be abrasive with colleagues if work is not up to their standards. This can cause resentment, so the Earth Rooster must be careful in his approach of his point of view, being sure to be honest and still kind.

Tarot Readings

How about getting your tarot cards read?  You can go to Lotus Tarot and they’ll do a free online tarot card reading for you.

And if you want more, you could get your own set of cards and learn how to read Tarot yourself at Learntarot.com a great resource if you are interested!

Numerology

You can get a free numerology report sent to your email (I have a junk email address I get things like this sent to, in case there is an influx of spam) -not terribly detailed, so will only keep you busy for a short while!

Well that might take up a few minutes each day – I hope you have good luck predicted!

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One of my readers has started her own blog about her breakup that I think you should check out.  The lovely Charlotte has started mypixieblog.com which I can recommend.  One of her latest posts is on what doesn’t suck about living alone - a great read and fun comments too!

She says:

‘This blog details my journey through heartbreak and
self discovery. Walking away from the one person who knew me better
than anyone else in this world was the hardest thing I have ever had to
do but I wanted to chronicle the highs and lows of my breakup in
written word. I now embark on a new life as a single 30-year-old in
search of my own happy ending.’

So take some time and check out Charlotte’s journey and great writing.  I’ve asked her for a guest post so you’ll get to read about her experience following the no contact rule her next week.

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Love this competition – Rachel at Ask Rachel is giving away movie tickets (for NZ peeps only sorry) to the winners of her Haiku Competition.  You need to write a Haiku (5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables) about one lover.

There are some great ones already posted – one particular funny poem:

I gave you the flu

I learnt what a player does

Fair is fair really

Just getting my Breakup Poems site up at the moment, perhaps I need a whole page for Haiku as I did find some wonderful Japanese love poems.

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When I researched my Smart Woman’s Breakup Book, I came across so many amazing breakup quotes that I decided to dedicate a whole new breakup quote website (with sad, cute, funny and motivational quotes) to them.  There are breakup quotes from famous writers, stars, poets and public figures: Bette Davis, Thomas Hardy, Anais Nin, Oprah Winfrey, and even Charlie Brown!

I am just pulling together a page of quotes from the everyday people I interviewed for my book, so you can hear what people like you are saying about breakups.  Here is a small sample:

Everyday people breakup quotes:

‘I should have known he was no good.’ Alicia

‘I saw our relationship like a room filled with a balloon – more and more it was filled with him, and I was just pressed up against the wall.’ Sally

‘This was the worst breakup in the history of my breakups.’ Kate

‘We just don’t want the drama.  If you breakup with me, then you won’t get as emotional.’ Rick, on why men make women breakup with them.

‘I know he wanted me to breakup with him.  I wanted to hear him say it though, that’s why I pushed it.’ Cathy

Time to read others’ wisdom, wit and inspirational, to help you get over him.  The site has separate categories including everyday people quotes, angry breakup quotes, sad breakup quotes, breakup love quotes from the classics, inspirational quotes for after a breakup, breaking up quotes, getting over someone quotes,

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