After a breakup you can feel stressed – how stressed are you really? Take the Holmes-Rahe Stress Test to see where you are on the scale. You might be surprised to discover that in addition to your breakup there are a whole lot of other things that affect your stress levels – moving homes, your money situation changes, and ever the number of arguments changes! All these things affect your stress levels.
After I broke up with Toshi my ex husband, I scored off the chart – there were so many changes in my life! And stress for me shows in different ways:
- I get sick
- I have accidents!
- I can’t sleep
- or I sleep too much
- I eat far too much
- or I lose interest in food
- I party
- I get obsessive about something – creating a new look, buying a house, a crush, finding a new job, starting a new business – anything to keep my mind busy!
Not of these things are great for me, and so it’s good to be aware of the reasons why I am obsessing or drinking or not sleeping so I can at least minimize the damage. I can be sure I take a taxi, I can understand that the cute guy in accounts may not be my next true love just because he looked at me, I can take some action to help my insomnia.
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Overcoming a break up is a challenge but on a positive note, after your stomach settles, you may realize that it was the best thing that could have happen.
Breaking up is never easy that we all know and are too familiar with but the hard part for me is the disconnecting. My ex is amazing at not showing emotions or break up symptoms and i hate it. I am in shambles and she uses anger as fuel. I an on an emotional roller coaster and she has her mind elsewhere (facebook). We have 2 children ( Sydney6 and Gaby 2) and we lived together for some time but she moved to California and i stayed in Florida. She left with sydney and i stayed with gaby. The plan was to find stability in Cali and move together and build from there to try and get services for Sydney (autistic) and Gaby (hip displacia) but somewhere along the line she snapped and informed me that i wasn’t doing my job as a man and as a father. I was under the impression that i was on point but she made it very clear that i had a lot of work to do and that enough was enough. She made it clear that her happiness would be followed by my moving out. I was and remain crushed. My world has yet to be remotely in order but i have been doing my best for my kids but she refuses to allow my new found understanding of her pain and anger and continues to refuse to give me any credit for my new path. Now i understand that these things take time but it has been more than 4 months and i have been doing my best to support her in all her attempts at seeking stability for our girls but she reciprocates only with anger. I have made promises and have followed threw with them but it doesn’t seem to be enough and i am constantly treated like the enemy. I am not a douche bag but man do i ever feel like one. I guess i could just use feedback and who better to get it from than strangers on the outside looking in ?…