Following up on yesterday’s post on crushes – here is one woman’s story of her massive crush after breaking up with her ex. I am sure we all have breakup stories like this in our histories – some more embarrassing than others!
Sheila jumped as Hank grabbed her into a hug. She was sitting with two girlfriends at the table in a noisy bar on a Friday night, and the last thing she expected was to be pressed into Hank, smelling his lime-scented fragrance. It was the week after she broke up with Alistair and the third time she had bumped into her old friend. She hadn’t seen Hank for years and suddenly he was everywhere she went. She asked herself if it was fate that threw them together that week, and she started to fixate on him. They had been great friends at university and she was sure there had always been chemistry – she could talk to Hank about anything. He was handsome, stable and had a great sense of humor, and she knew him and trusted him.
She wasn’t sure why they hadn’t got together before. Probably the timing had been bad – one of them had always been committed to someone else. And he was sweet – not really her type at all back then, but after Alistair, she didn’t know what her type was any more. She was still angry and sad about Alistair, but the thought of Hank made her smile and the fantasy was something she could escape into.
‘In my mind I knew it was a crush,’ Sheila said. ‘But I couldn’t stop my heart. I tried really hard to keep my feet on the ground, but it felt like destiny had thrown me Hank. He could be the answer. I really tried to hold off, but found myself going back to that bar where I saw him last, just in case I saw him. We texted occasionally and we even went for lunch, and my infatuation grew. I’m embarrassed to say that I started to think about what we would be like as a couple, what he would be like as a father.
‘I knew I shouldn’t do anything because I was on the rebound, but it was hard! Then I did see him at a mutual friend’s party about a month later and he was quite drunk, leaving early saying something about a booty-call.’
- Sheila’s crush tip: Don’t act on your crush, don’t act on your crush, don’t act on your crush!
Reality hit Sheila. She didn’t really know Hank anymore, and she remembered that he was a huge drinker at University – close to an alcoholic. He was a nice guy, but one who was not her type then, and not her type now. She felt quite silly that she had been so obsessed, and relieved she hadn’t acted. She let her crush go.
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Getting over an ex is always easier when we have someone/thing else to latch on to, and it sounds as though Sheila was denying things she knew about Hank’s behavior in the past because she wanted to move on. It’s not silly at all; I think every girl has been there before. I’m glad she realized what it was and that was able to let her crush go in the end to focus on herself and her own journey.
Great post!
Charlotte´s last blog ..will it go round in circles