Ending a relationship can be tough. Whether you have a red flag like infidelity waved in your face, or things are dying a lingering death, you can have doubts and second thoughts about finishing things. How do you make up your mind finally?
One thing you can do is to pay attention to your body and what it is telling you. You might think you are up for one more round of trying in your relationship, but your body might not be. It might be madly waving at you to make you notice that all is not right in your world – that the stress is affecting you greatly. I am always amazed (and thankful) at how my body is skilled at sabotaging my efforts to stay in a bad situations.
There are all sorts of signals. You might be:
- not sleeping
- losing or gaining weight
- getting sick
- having stomach problems, neck or back pain
- having headaches
- having other stress-related problems such as eczema or hives (you literally might become allergic to him!
Or it might be less physical and more a mental reaction like:
- becoming more forgetful
- becoming depressed
- becoming accident prone
- crying more often
- losing motivation in other areas of your life.
Yes, it is good to try with your relationship, but at some stage you need to think about yourself. One way to be respectful of yourself is to pay attention to what your body is telling you.
If you are having a tough time deciding whether to breakup or not, help is at hand. There is a section dedicated to strategies to working out what your best move is in The Smart Woman’s Breakup Program. The book and coaching program are based on over 100 interviews with women facing breakups just like you and includes the advice of over 25 experts. You can also download a sample chapter here.
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Great article, Sarah! How are you?? Last few weeks have been so busy, but I always like to check in on your site
Some great things happening here.
The idea that you can actually develop an allergic reaction to someone is crazy, but I’ve seen it happen and it’s definitely happened with me. I have a bit of a problem with hives but this usually settles down after I’m comfortable with someone (so it looks like I have a weird flesh-eating disease on my first few dates. Turtlenecks are my friend). But after dating my ex for so long, they started coming back whenever he was in the room!
These are all really great things to keep in mind. And as obvious as it should be, trusting your gut instinct is always the most effective (imo). Somehow put into practice, it can be quite difficult.
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