I offered my mailing list members the chance to win two books from my bookshelf - Getting Past Your Breakup and another more light-hearted book. Interestingly no-one asked for the light-hearted book, and everyone put their name down for Getting Past Your Breakup!
So what is so good about this book? It is focused on treating the breakup as an opportunity for you to grow – not as a time to focus on trying to win back your ex. Written by grief counselor Susan J Elliott, writer of the Getting Past Your Past blog, it gives you a road map to follow to put your energy back into you. She includes easy-to-understand explanations and also quotes from her readers, who have gone through the same thing.
Elliott starts the book talking about her own story – how she finally broke free of an abusive relationship and how she slowly gained confidence in being alone and raising her family. She lays out the ‘Rules of Disengagement,’ which include an outline of the no-contact rule (and she has an answer for every excuse you might have when you try to get out of doing this!). She then moves on to the stages of grief:
- shock,
- much emotion,
- going over things in your mind,
- confusion,
- anger,
- guilt,
- anxiety,
- ambivalence,
- pining and searching,
- depression – discussing when you need clinical intervention.
She finishes the chapter on grief looking at the acceptance stage.
She gives the reader exercises to do in the next chapter on looking after yourself – including affirmations and positive visualization. She also includes gratitude, which I am a big believer in, and setting new goals. For readers with children, there is a chapter on making things easier for children, including:
- monitor yourself and model healthy behavior,
- continue to be a parent to your children,
- keep up quality time
- and be open about the breakup.
After dealing with the immediate problems facing a breakup, Elliott covers a bigger picture. She looks at your habits and tendencies in relationships and writing and ‘life inventory’ which is a way to identify the ‘red flags you ignored or missed.’ Then she looks at limits and boundaries – so you are prepared for your next relationship. She finishes on a Q&A chapter that also includes letters from her readers.
Elliot takes you through a hard time and turns it into a positive (if tough) experience. She is not your best girlfriend – she is more like a helpful counselor getting your through the hard days. She has a huge following and her reviews on Amazon reflect this (five stars all the way). A worthwhile book to have on your bookshelf.
If you would like to join my mailing list to have the chance to enter my give-aways, receive special member interviews and news – as well as get access to my ebook 3 Simple Steps to Getting Over a Breakup Faster, join up here. And don’t worry I won’t overwhelm your mailbox, I might contact you once a week 
Amazon readers:
NZ Fishpond Site:
Getting Past Your Breakup
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