Ending a Long-Term Relationship: Benefits

Break up or not to break up, leave or stay, dump or endure? Ending a long-term relationship is not an easy decision to make. Charlotte Bronte knew a thing or two about it:

For never may you, like me, dread to be the instrument of evil to what you wholly love.

We agonize over breakup decisions. We put off making them by trying over and over to fix things and hope the dread will go away. Like Bronte, we worry about hurting the other person but sometimes, no matter how hard we try, the relationship just can’t be fixed. The issues grow and we end up stuck for far too long. To move on we need to make a decision and get on with our lives, but letting go and being alone can seem more difficult than keeping the unhappy status quo. Remember that by not acting there might be other things you are giving up by default.

The benefits of ending a bad relationship

Be your own woman again!

I am going to start with the good news: breakups are an opportunity for growth and good things will happen to you because of it. You are probably not ready to hear that today, but in times of need you can return to this post and soak up the good things that are coming your way with your ending.

Your breakup can signal the end of a long period of unhappiness. You might have been miserable in your relationship for a long time, and whether you initiate the break or your partner does, that period will be over. You may start to feel relief in the months ahead – no more fights or worrying about where the two of you are heading.

Studies have shown that up to 93% of people report benefits to their breakups, and women report more growth post-breakup than men. So, even if you think your relationship was the best ever and should never have ended, you too will gain benefits from the split.

Women have described many positive results after ending a relationship:

Enjoying life more,
Enjoying their increased independence and freedom,
Feeling like their self-esteem and confidence increased,
Improving their communication skills,
Feeling like they had matured and gained self-awareness,
Improving their relationships with others – including better ties with family and friends, and being able to look after their children better,
Enjoying their time alone more and more,
And enjoying making their own decisions.

So come back to this post when you’re wondering if you will ever pull through. You can look at these results and know that other women rode the breakup train before you after ending their relationship, and like you will – have come out on top.

For more inspiration and support in your breakup, check out The Smart Woman’s Breakup Program – it’s based on over 100 interviews with women facing breakups just like you and includes the advice of over 25 experts. You can download a sample chapter here.