T and I were still together when I wrote this, but things are quickly going downhill. 1 1/2 months until we breakup and it starts to get desperate...
1/5 First day of May and end the day fighting and start the day fighting. But I will not be spoken to like that! I figure the only way to do it is to either shut up or to say ‘ask nicely.’ ‘Could you say that one more time nicely?’ To try and get him into the habit. I will not be bullied. I mean really yesterday to bully me to make a set time and place – what a stupid thing to bully me over. I feel centered. It is only a matter of retraining. I won’t argue about it anymore.
I would like a nice home with harmony. I get a sinking feeling in my stomach when he has that tired sound in his voice. I know you will attack me. Maybe he doesn’t see it as attacking but I do. I would not speak to a dog like he speaks to me. Then I watch him and wait, and sure enough he does it.
For years I have made excuses for his rudeness – Japanese way, tired, etc. But he is no longer a hard working businessman, and I have seen our Japanese friends being nice to their wives. So I say enough! I understand this is the way he has communicated for a long time so I shall retrain him.
Everytime you do it, I will swallow back my anger and ask you to repeat it in a nice way.
Read about the background to my Diary of a Breakup, or read all my breakup diary entries.
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Wow I would love to talk to this lady. I am married to a foreign guy and put up with 27 years of this behavior, when I took my kids and moved back to my home country, he gave the final blow, took a second wife. so how does one get closure in this situation? How? Can’t move on and have tons of kids to support! He is luckily doing that. how to move on and just go on? If I divorce I get nothing and end up with no support. So, how to stay married but not really? HE refuses divorce. HOW can I cope?