I recently reviewed Getting Past Your Breakup and in it there is a cautious and sensible set of rules about dating (when you’re ready to get out there again). These are caring, look-after-yourself dating rules – not the strange be-a-woman-like-no-other rules you see in some dating books (like The Rules which I obviously don’t like!!!):
- Enjoy yourself!
- Stay safe – trust your intuition
- Relax and keep the conversation breezy
- Listen to your date (really listen, be careful about your inner dialogue trying to prove how compatible you are, what you hope he is saying)
- Don’t reveal too much on early dates – if there are skeletons in your closet you can tell them 3-4 dates down the line
- Avoid long conversations in the days following the first date – take time to assess this person
- Don’t get involved physically for the first few dates – this helps you to keep some perspective
- Journal your reactions after each date – be careful about justifying away warning signs
- Go slowly
- Don’t allow yourself to be pushed too fast
- Don’t get depressed if the date doesn’t turn into the love of your life – it won’t be this way forever
- Don’t start thinking about the future – if the date goes badly, don’t generalize that you will be alone forever…and if the date goes well – take it as it comes, evaluate the person not his potential
- Accept rejection – and don’t judge yourself!
- One bad date is not the end of the world – in fact it will probably turn into a funny story to tell your friends (check out Confessions of an Online Dater )
- Do some positive affirmations – you are OK no matter what happens!
Amazon readers: NZ Fishpond Site:
Getting Past Your Breakup
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