Last week, I ran an interview with Beth about Adrian – men with commitment phobia and trying to breakup with them.
Beth was hooked in by Adrien. She knew she should have just finished it after France, but like a gambler she had started by winning (he spent time with her), hooking her in. Then you sometimes you are together and sometimes you are not – you are never quite sure when you are going to ‘win’. He has a phobia about commitment and there is a real danger that this kind of relationship can be addictive: you don’t quite get enough so you keep trying, hoping that your wonderful personality and fabulousness will fix the situation. It takes your energy and time, and you always want more.
The way to sort this out is to bring it into the open and ask for what you want. Terrifying as you put your ego on the line. You may have avoided this kinds of discussion just in case it spoils things. You may well kind-of break up the kind-of relationship, but at least you are not wasting your time on something that isn’t satisfying, and quite possibly unhealthy for you. You do not need men with commitment phobia in your life!
If you need extra support getting over that ex of yours, check out The Smart Woman’s Breakup Program – it’s based on over 100 interviews with women facing breakups just like you and includes the advice of over 25 experts. You can download a sample chapter here.
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