Breakup Diary: I Want the Answer

T and I were still together when I wrote this, but things are quickly going downhill. 2 months until we breakup...

answer 4/12 I want to change – no that’s a lie – I don’t want to change. I want to be me. Be free to be me. Life isn’t boring without sex, but it doesn’t feel natural to me. I want the answer. What do I do? Maybe I can live without him. There are loads of nice guys around – nice testosterone-driven men. It’s too sterile for me. It’s impossible. I went back to having a husband who loves sex, I can’t return. Then I realize what a waste of time this is. When I see him smile, I feel miserable. He’s taking from me. He will just always do as he wants. Basically he doesn’t care.