Some people react to stress by not sleeping well (or insomnia). For me, a sign that I had to breakup with T was that I wasn’t sleeping. The stress of the relationship made me an insomniac until I had to listen to my body. After breaking up I slept so much better. But not every breakup has been like that, after that Rat Bastard (an ex who cheated on me) I had huge problems sleeping as he was using the settlement of the house we owned together to hang on to me. He truly was a Rat Bastard.
How about you? Are you sleeping?
If you’re not getting enough sleep you might be having trouble getting through the day. You are physically tired, can’t concentrate, feel depressed or grumpy, snap at people, unhappy, and of course are sleepy.
In their book Surviving: Coping with a Life Crisis, Doctors Bob Montgomery & Laurel Morris explain:
“It doesn’t help if your stomach is rumbling from hunger, too much food or food that was spicy or rich. Drinking caffeine, in coffee, tea or soda, will stimulate your arousal level…A meal heavy in carbohydrates, especially when they are not balanced by other food groups such as proteins, usually has a calming and even fatiguing effect…women tend to feel sleepy.”
The other things they say to stay away from are:
- Reading exciting books
- Watching exciting TV
- Late night problem solving discussions
- Being fit helps but activity before sleep doesn’t
- Watch your own body rhythm
- Don’t have a nap in the day or sleep in
- Noise
I ended up getting sleeping pills from my Doctor when Rat Bastard was being a particular bastard, just weeks before the settlement was signed and I was the walking dead because I had insomnia. Luckily I never had to use them, but they can help in times of need. I found that just having them there helped, so I knew that if I needed them, they were there so I didn’t stress quite so much. I used the herbal supplement Valerian a lot – it gets you to sleep but doesn’t keep you asleep so you have no groggy side effects the next day. Not so helpful though if you are waking up at 4am.
There are some other suggestions about having trouble sleeping, and what you can do about it, in the comments section here.
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I use herbal supplements with Valerian to help me sleep when I can’t drop off. They really work for me.
i’m currently going through the no sleep/odd sleep schedule phase. It sucks, but i don’t want to do the sleeping pill thing.
Hi Rob,
Like Tania I used the herbal supplement Valerian as well when I really had a messy sleep pattern. The only problem is it doesn’t keep you asleep but it relaxes you (it mimics that wonderful feeling of dropping off to sleep) to help you get to sleep. Doesn’t make you drowsy the next day.
Sometimes I did the carbo thing, have a carbo snack before bed (but I think that works better for women). Definitely using your computer before bed can stimulate you (something about the light from the screen making your body think it is daytime). I can’t drink tea and coffee after about midday if I am in the middle of bad sleep patterns as well.
Finally I would try and have some kind of boring fantasy (not rude!) like creating a new garden (I really used this one) or something equally as non-stimulating to lull you into sleep. It stops my overactive mind focusing on things that will keep me awake.
I am not sure if these will help you, but one or a combination helped me in my time of need. Are you going through a stressful time right now?
Yes….a breakup ect. You can read my story on hubpages if you like….
http://hubpages.com/hub/My-Reflection-of-Personal-Growth-and-Death-of-a-Failed-Relationship
Thanks for the tips, i’ll look into that Valerian.
Wow – what a story. I’ve left comments there. Just to give you an idea about the Valerian I took: http://www.blackmores.com.au/Products/Detail.aspx?ProductId=1902. It’s an Australian brand but it tells you the amount of active ingredient. Before I broke up with my exhusband I was using it every night – sometime 2 pills – as I was so stressed. Not addictive though. I also used earplugs and blacked out the room, so I stayed asleep. I hope you are OK, not sleeping makes things 10x worse.
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